(INAUDIBLE)
-Morning, Mrs Hall. -Morning, Mr Tristan.
-My word, that smells good. -Yeah, well, breakfast won't be long.
Marvellous. Marvellous.
(WHISTLES)
(CUTLERY CLATTERING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
-Morning, Tris. -Mmm?
-I said good morning. -Oh, morning, James.
-You all right? -Yes, I am quite all right. Thank you.
-You don't look it. -I said I'm perfectly all right, James.
-That's fine, Mrs Hall. I'll do the rest. -Right.
-Do you want to wait till Mr Farnon gets back? -Oh, yes. I think so.
-Right. -TRISTAN: Isn't he back yet?
I don't know. Have you seen any sign of him, Tris?
-Sorry, what's that? -Siegfried.
Do you know if he's back yet?
Back? Back from where?
You know, the great keep fit campaign.
He's been at it for a week now.
No, I haven't seen him.
-Hmm. You're a bit subdued this morning, Tris. -Yes, I noticed that.
Sorry, I just feel a bit rough, that's all.
-Do you want your breakfast now? -No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
No breakfast? Now I am worried.
-Tris, are you... -For heaven's sake, James, can't you leave it alone?
Sorry.
Oh. Morning, little brother.
-What on earth was that about? -I think Tristan's a bit off-colour this morning.
Ah, I'm not a bit surprised, with the seedy way of life he pursues. Bound to show.
Ah, I shall have to have words with that young man.
-Siegfried, are you ready for your breakfast now? -Lord, yes, I'm famished!
(SIGHING)
JAMES: How was your ride, Siegfried?
Oh, marvellous, James.
There's nothing like an early morning gallop across the moors
to get the red corpuscles multiplying.
JAMES: I'll take your word for it.
Might do more than that, James.
-You might take a leaf out of my book. -JAMES: Oh, yeah?
Exercise, James.
The discipline of hard, physical exercise and clean, fresh air.
Does the dogs a world of good, too.
Work gives all the exercise I need, or want for that matter.
Beware of complacency, James.
-First sign of the rot setting in, you know. -Rot?
Yes. Remember the lessons of our school days,
(SING-SONG) a sound mind stems from a healthy body.
It may sound schoolmaster-ish and all that,
but there's a grain of sense in it, you know.
Siegfried, I am perfectly fit, I assure you.
It's that old devil complacency, James.
Now, when did you last take stock of yourself?
I mean, really analyse what's wrong with you?
-There's something wrong with me? -Well, look at yourself.
You're pale and pallid of a morning, tired and washed out at night.
All that isn't any good, is it?
Not in an active profession like ours.
-Siegfried, I assure you... -You may delude yourself, James,
but I know the signs.
Signs? What signs?
A reluctance to turn out of bed in the morning, for a start.
-Has the post come? Ah. -It's there.
Well, that's only when I've been up working all night.
No need to justify yourself, James.
I'm only telling you this for your own good, you know.
-Yes, well, I'm telling you... -No, James. It won't wash.
-Oh, damn it, Siegfried... -Now, there's another sign,
an inability to face facts, and being irritable with one's colleagues.
I promise you, I know exactly how you feel.
-I wouldn't bet on it. -SIEGFRIED: Oh, I can accept all this bad temper
and sharpness because I understand it.
But what about the clients, James?
I mean, how are the clients gonna feel, honestly,
when you start taking it out on them?
Are you implying that I am rude to our clients?
See what I mean?
Your nervous system is so frayed that even
the candid observation of a friend is taken as an insult.
You would try the patience of a saint, Siegfried.
James, all I'm saying is that
your physical condition leaves a great deal to be desired.
-Mind you, you're never near as bad as Tristan. -Oh, thanks!
But that being said, you could usefully follow my example.
-Not only would your outlook become more tranquil. -Mmm-hmm.
But every aspect of your life would take on a new
breadth and clarity.
-Breakfast is served. -Oh, splendid.
(GRINDING)
James.
Hello, Tris.
I'm sorry about this morning.
That's all right. We all have our off moments.
Well, the point is I had rather a shock.
-Oh? -Yes, I think I need some advice.
-What's wrong, Tris? -I can't say really go into it.
-Can you pop out to The Drovers after surgery? -Yes.
Ah, Tristan!
There are a couple of boxes waiting for us at the station.
-Would you pick them up, please? -Yes.
SIEGFRIED: And don't consider I've given you carte blanche for the rest of the day.
What do you mean?
I mean no turning a simple errand
into a prolonged absence without leave.
Look, if I'm that unreliable, why bother to send me?
I'm simply asking you to hurry because we need the supplies.
Well, you don't have to worry.
Oh, but I do worry, my boy.
In dealing with you, I've learnt that
every instruction has to be spelled out.
Oh, I'm an idiot, that's what you're saying?
Stop behaving like one and do as you are told.
Well, you stop treating me like some witless oaf!
-Now, you listen to me! -Do you want me to go or not?
-Yes. -All right, I'll go.
Well, quick about it, before I lose my temper!
Good God, James.
What the hell's got into him?
Don't know.
Did I do or say anything to offend him, do you think?
-No, you were pretty much your usual self. -Might he be ill?
Has been behaving most oddly lately.
Well, perhaps he's a bit under the weather.
I knew something like this would happen.
All that booze and nicotine and lack of sleep
were bound to get him in the end.
-It's hasn't had much affect up until now, has it? -Oh, quite.
But now the chickens have come home to roost.
It's a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier.
You see, James, the deadly equation,
an unsound body equals an erratic mind.
Oh, come on, Siegfried. Sound or unsound, we all have our off moments.
Not if you know how to prevent it, James.
Oh, well, I can't force you or Tristan to follow my example.
I just hope common sense may prevail in the end.
MRS DONOVAN: Aye.
-It's as I says. -But Mr Herriot was quite certain.
Well, now. Young Mr Herriot's all very well with cattle and such like,
but he's got a lot to learn about dogs and cats.
We all know that.
Well, I'll have words to say to him, I can tell you.
I'm sure he was only doing his best.
Leaving poor Midge to suffer like that.
JAMES: There we are. Should be all right now.
-Bye, Mr Hardcastle. -All right.
Next, please.
JAMES: Hello, Mr Bantock.
Would you put Midge on the table, please?
Well, how is she?
Oh, yes. Definitely on the mend.
-Mr Herriot, I have words to say to you. -Mmm-hmm.
I have a complaint to make. A very serious complaint.
-What's wrong? -I strongly object to your callousness.
Aye, that's the word, callousness.
I don't think I quite understand what you mean.
You know.
Or if you don't, you've got no right to be doing the job you do.
-What? Steady on. -No, you hear me out!
I don't take kindly to no one, least of all a veterinary surgeon,
who causes a dumb animal unnecessary suffering.
-Suffering? What suffering? -When I brought Midge in to see you,
-she was very lame. -That's right.
Well, I'm referring to your treatment on that occasion.
I still don't see where the suffering comes in.
Poor Midge's leg was dangling again, that's all.
Yes, and I recommended the correct treatment.
Call it treatment, do you?
Well, I have it on good authority
that Midge's leg was broken and you should have put it in plaster immediately.
Well, who told you her leg was broken?
Someone who knows more about it than you, I reckon.
Well, you reckon wrong, Mr Bantock.
This dog has a radial paralysis caused by a blow to the ribs.
It is not broken, do you understand?
-Not broken? -Of course not.
-But she trails her leg. Is she all right? -I know. I know.
And that's typical in cases like this.
To the layman it has the appearance of a broken leg,
-but it's not broken, I assure you. -But...
Look, if it was broken, she'd be in pain, wouldn't she?
I suppose so.
Well, has she shown any sign of it?
No. She seems quite happy.
Then just follow my treatment and she'll be completely recovered.
It's just that this lady seemed to be so sure of her facts.
Lady, Mr Bantock?
Aye, that one out there in the waiting room.
Not a Mrs Donovan?
Aye, I think that's her name.
A few spoonfuls of this and he'll soon have his appetite back.
Bye, Mr Bantock.
Lovely day, Mr Herriot.
-JAMES: Is it, Mrs Donovan? -Aye.
Never seen such a run-down creature before, have you?
-Ah, run-down, is he? -Aye.
The tongue, Mr Herriot.
You can always tell by the colour of the tongue, you know.
May I ask what you're feeding that dog?
My own patent nostrum, Mr Herriot.
Calves' foot jelly. Just the job for a dog without the appetite.
It might impress you to know that that dog has a gastric upset.
Never mind, Mr Herriot, this'll soon buck him up.
I really must ask you to stop, Mrs Donovan.
Aye.
There. That should do it.
Feel better now, do you, my pet?
I can see you do. (CHUCKLES)
JAMES: Would you take Trigger into the surgery, please?
-Yes. Come on, Trigger. -JAMES: Thank you.
Off you go.
Now, Mrs Donovan...
I believe I've spoken to you about this kind of thing before, haven't I?
I'm not sure I take your meaning, Mr Herriot.
Look, I know you mean well, but really,
we can't have you coming into the surgery,
interfering with our patients, can we?
Interfering, Mr Herriot?
That's a strange word to use.
Especially since all I do is relieve the suffering of unfortunate animals.
But you mustn't do it, Mrs Donovan.
You're an unqualified person. You might make mistakes.
I don't do it for myself, Mr Herriot, just for the animals.
And there ain't a law against that, is there?
-I'm always around when I'm needed. -Yes, yes, I know.
And I'm sure we all appreciate what you do.
So we'll say no more about it, shall we?
Good. Well...
Have you brought Rex in to see me?
Oh, Rex?
He needs nothing from nobody.
Going on 15 and sound as a bell, aren't you, my pet?
Fine.
Now you must leave us to get on with our work.
Of course, Mr Herriot.
I just thought I'd pop in and see if I could help out.
Thanks, but I think we can manage.
Aye.
-Oh, sorry. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Hello, Tris. -Hello, James.
-Uh, can I get you one? -No, thanks. Not for me.
Oh.
Betty, could I have a pint when you've got a moment?
Right you are, Mr Herriot. I'll bring it over for you.
All right, let's have it.
-I'm in a ghastly fix, James. -What's happened?
-This is terrible, Tris. -Yes.
Medicine and surgery, failed them both.
Yes, but how could it happen?
-There you are, Mr Herriot. -Thank you, Betty.
-That's it. Thanks. -Thank you very much.
How, Tris? I mean, you're superb on practical,
you absorb theory like a sponge.
I thought I knew it all, James.
Perhaps I do, but knowing it in Darrowby
is a different thing from reeling it off in the examiner's room in Edinburgh.
-Hmm. -Let's face it, I was in a blue funk,
scared witless, and hitting the booze to calm nerves didn't help.
Well, I got the impression the exam had gone really well for you.
Well, I had to believe that, James,
especially with Siegfried breathing down my neck.
-Well, he doesn't know yet? -No.
But he will, and when he does...
I needn't tell you how he'd take it.
Well, he'll have to come to terms with it.
After all the effort he put into to preparing me for these finals?
No, it's asking too much of him.
It's not just a question of my ability, James, it's Siegfried's pride.
He'll take this disaster as a mortal insult.
Oh, yes, he'll fume and rant, but he'll come 'round.
Especially when he knows you can re-sit the exam next year.
He'll skin me alive and throw out what's left, you'll see.
Come on, Tris. These sort of thing's happened before.
Well, I won't take it from him, James.
If he goes for me, I'll fight back!
Things will be said that will make it impossible for us to live in the same house.
-You're exaggerating, Tris. -No, I mean it.
Well, then make sure he doesn't come to that.
-How, James? How? -I don't know.
Be nice to him.
Work hard. Make yourself indispensable.
Change your way of life.
Do anything you can to make him realise how much he needs you.
Then, when the crunch comes, well...
-James, that's brilliant! -What is?
Of course! That's it!
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Evening, Siegfried. Had a good day?
Fine, thanks. You off somewhere?
Well, I rather thought I'd take a jog around the common before dinner.
My word, that's somewhat brave.
Well, I've been a bit slack lately.
It's time I took myself in hand, I thought.
A spanking good idea it is, too.
You wouldn't care to join me, would you?
-Uh, not just the moment. -Right you are.
Oh, by the way, would you like a cup of tea
before your ride in the morning?
-My dear boy, I'll be off and away long before... -5:30 a.m. too early for you?
Will you make me a cup of tea at half past five?
Yes, if you like. Just before my dawn run.
-Tristan, you are feeling all right, are you? -Yes.
Fine, thanks.
Oh, hello, James. Could you cancel
my order of fags from The Drovers next time you're there?
-Cancel them? -Yes. Tell Betty I've given them up.
-She'll understand. -Right.
Bye now!
-James? -Mmm-hmm.
I did see what I saw just now, didn't I?
-You mean the keep fit thing? -Precisely.
Yeah, well, he's been talking about it for some time.
He's quite impressed by the effect it's had on you, you know.
-Really? -Mmm.
Quite extraordinary.
Tristan's a cunning devil.
If he can keep this up, he'll have Siegfried eating out of his hands.
I think it's wicked deceiving Siegfried like this.
Tristan will only make it worse for himself if he's caught out.
And you're just as bad,
encouraging him the way you are.
Look, Helen, if Siegfried were to find out that Tristan had failed his exam,
this house would become a battlefield.
I still don't like to see poor Siegfried being used in this way.
Poor Sieg...
Have you ever seen him with all the valves blown?
I mean, Siegfried out for blood
is the most terrifying thing you can imagine.
Nonsense. He's a sweet, charming man.
Oh, a typical woman's opinion.
I mean, you only see the side you want to see.
And of course, to a woman, Siegfried is always the charmer.
He's your friend, James.
Yeah, he's my friend, and so is Tristan.
In this particular situation, it's Tristan that needs the help most.
Well, don't expect me to have anything to do with it.
Look, Helen, believe me, this is the only way
to relieve a very nasty situation with the least possible damage.
Well, it all depends on Tristan then, doesn't it?
-Mmm. -Hey!
-(JANGLING) -Look what I found.
-Oh, no. -Oh, yes!
That's all the cash I've got to last for the week.
You know the rules, all loose change in the piggy bank.
Well, at least, leave me enough for a drink.
Sorry, darling.
-(JANGLING) -Hey, we're doing really well, aren't we?
Oh, yes. Let's not get carried away.
-What's so wrong with getting carried away, hmm? -Well...
Well, now you come to mention it,
nothing at all.
-(HORSE NEIGHING) -SIEGFRIED: Whoa!
(HOOF BEATS)
(INDISTINCT)
(DOGS BARKING)
Come on! Whoa!
-Morning, Tristan. -Wonderful morning, Siegfried.
It is indeed! It's good to see you taking exercise.
-Yeah. -You know, you can still surprise me!
Oh, yes. No trouble.
Marvellous.
(PANTING)
SIEGFRIED: Come on.
(SIEGFRIED HUMMING)
What the deuce?
You lost something, Siegfried?
Every last piece of my equipment seems to have disappeared.
I'm sure I left them all in their usual places.
Hang on.
Great Scott!
Tristan, are those mine?
Yes. I found them lying about. Thought I'd give them a wash and brush up.
Oh. Damn fine job you've made of it, too.
-Well, we can't let expensive equipment -(PHONE RINGING)
go to rag and ruin, can we?
Yes, quite.
I've also organised a proper home for them. You don't mind?
Mind, my dear boy? Your initiative staggers me.
It's most gratifying.
I've also reorganised the drug stock.
Oh, how?
Well, when the new batches come in,
we usually bring them to the front,
which means the old ones doesn't get used.
Now, all new supplies will be moved strictly in rotation.
Cuts out waste, you see.
Brilliant. Brilliant!
-Oh. I thought you were all out. -Here we are.
-I've just taken this message. -Why, thank you, my dear.
Well, Tristan, would you ask James when you see him
if he could fit in a visit to Fairley's at Otterdale?
-What is it, Siegfried? -Oh, just removing some stitches from a cow.
But as there's no road to that place, it takes ages to get there.
Plays havoc with my visits.
Oh, that's all right, Siegfried. I'll go.
What? How? You have no car.
Well, I'll take the bicycle as far as I can and do the rest on foot.
Do you know how long that'll take you?
No matter. So long as the job is done.
Well... Thank you, Tristan.
Oh, it's a pleasure, Siegfried.
Well, I'd better make a start.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)
HELEN: Ah, the hero's returned.
I am absolutely whacked! Done in.
An eight-mile trek, and all the wild snow clouds looming above me.
Very noble of you, Tristan.
When I think of what I'm going through to keep that savage brother of mine off my neck...
Well, don't spoil it now. He's very impressed with you.
Well, so he should be. I tell you, Helen, it's wearing me down.
(DOOR OPENS)
Helen, give Mr Handshaw a ring, will you?
Tristan, you back already?
-Yes. Mission accomplished. -SIEGFRIED: Excellent.
Excellent!
Um, as I was saying, Helen, give Handshaw a call and cancel my visit, will you?
-He's not on the phone, Siegfried. -Damn. Of course!
He'll be expecting you.
Well, James and I are up to our elbows in surgery at the moment.
I say, Tristan, you wouldn't do it for us, would you?
I mean, run a tuberculin test on Handshaw's herd.
-Yes, of course, Siegfried. -Excellent, man!
You hadn't got anything fixed, tonight had you?
Well, I did have a date with Connie, actually,
but, of course, work must come before pleasure, mustn't it?
Splendid attitude.
Anyway, if you rush off now, you're bound to be in time for your date.
(INDISTINCT)
-On my way. -SIEGFRIED: Coming, James!
(DOOR SHUTS)
-Right, James, I'll take over. Thank you very much. -Yes, thanks.
-Come on, Pussnums. -(DOORBELL CHIMING)
Hold him tight, Sieg.
-That's got him. -It's all right, it's all right.
(CHIMING CONTINUES)
Well, this place is like Piccadilly Circus today.
-Could you come back and repeat your good offices? -Certainly.
I'll have to take that.
Thank you.
It's all right. It's all right.
SIEGFRIED: Mrs Hall!
Mrs Donovan, how are you?
Mr Farnon, it's Rex.
-Mmm-hmm. Oh. -He's been run over.
Bring him in.
Clear the decks, James. Dog's been run over.
JAMES: Mrs Donovan's Rex.
-Here we are. -Put him down ever so gently.
He slipped his lead, you see.
I don't know what got into him. He's never done it before.
The wheel went right over him.
-Massive internal haemorrhage. Saline, James, please. -Yes.
-He's dead, isn't he? -JAMES: I'm afraid so, Mrs Donovan.
(SOBBING) Oh...
Poor, poor Rex.
Mrs Donovan, come inside and sit down for a bit. Come on.
Ah, sorry to keep you waiting like that. Shan't be a moment.
Always hate this part of it.
JAMES: Drink this, Mrs Donovan.
You don't think he suffered, do you, Mr Herriot?
No, I'm certain he didn't.
Poor Rex.
Whatever shall I do without him?
He had a very good life, Mrs Donovan.
Aye, we travelled many a mile together, Rex and me.
Do you know? He hated to see other animals suffer.
It's true. That he did.
You could tell.
He was happy when we relieved some poor animal's pain.
I know it's a bit soon to mention this, Mrs Donovan,
but my advice is that you get another dog.
No. No, I couldn't do that.
Rex meant too much to me.
I couldn't let another take his place.
Well, that's how you feel now, Mrs Donovan.
No.
Rex was my own faithful friend.
I couldn't betray him.
No.
I'll never have another dog again.
TRISTAN: Good morning, Mr Handshaw.
All ready, are they?
Ready and waiting these good few hours, young mister.
Right then.
You won't find no beasts in there, you know.
Not in there? Then where are they, Mr Handshaw?
You can't keep cows in all the time, can you now?
Bit of snow does them good.
Mr Handshaw, I have a lot of visits to make today. Now, you were asked...
-T'ain't so. -You got the letter, didn't you?
Yes. You asked me to be ready. And here I am, ready and waiting, ain't I?
Well, so you are, Mr Handshaw.
Trouble is, it's your cattle I've come to test.
So can we have them inside, please?
Don't worry, young mister. We'll get 'em in top byre. Won't take a jiffy. Come on.
(SIGHS)
Come on, young mister. I can't hang about here all day!
Well, I hope they're well behaved.
(URGING COWS)
(WHISTLES)
MR HANDSHAW: Hey. Hey.
No!
(GROANS)
Damn!
T'ain't no use. They don't want to go inside. I told you, didn't I?
We have to have them inside, Mr Handshaw.
Well, we can but try. Come on.
(BELL RINGING)
(WHISTLING)
-Hey! Hey! -(URGING COWS)
(GROANING)
(SIGHING) We're never going to get this lot done.
-There's only one way to do it, young mister. -What's that?
Sam Broadbent's. He'll give you his warble fly.
-His what? -His warble fly.
Young mister here's fretting, Sam. Can't get cows into the barn.
Oh, aye?
-Can you move them, Mr Broadbent? -Eh?
Aye...
Now, Mr Broadbent?
-Aye... -Cows are over there, Sam.
Aye.
-Do you think you could get him to get a move on? -(SHUSHES) Sam's thinking.
(IMITATING FLY)
MR HANDSHAW: There ain't much our Sam can do,
but by God he can imitate that warble fly, all right.
Ah, it's a rotten business, James.
Darrowby really won't be the same without Mrs Donovan and Rex
burning up the pavements in their fever to seek out suffering in the animal world.
Well, I tried to persuade her to have another dog. She wouldn't hear of it.
She's a remarkable woman in many ways.
Tiresome, of course, too, at times, the way she interferes with our work.
But her heart's in the right place.
Yes.
Well, it'll take a lot more than the loss of Rex to keep her down.
(DOOR OPENS)
Ah, Tristan. What kept you, my boy?
There were a few problems. Nothing we couldn't handle.
I take it you dealt with Handshaw's cattle, did you?
Every last one of them. (SIGHS)
What a good fellow you are. You're really a tower of strength.
Oh, Connie rang several times.
Oh, I'd better get a move on or she'll have my hide.
Bath, I'm on my way.
Oh, my, I just ran into Geoff Hawkins today.
You know, his boy, Trevor, sat his exams same time as you in Edinburgh.
-Oh? -Yeah.
Young Trevor's passed, it seems.
Got his results a few days ago.
-Well, good for Trevor. -You know, it's odd, isn't it?
I mean, your results not being through yet?
Well, paperwork probably got tangled up.
You know how these red tape setups are.
-Hmm. -Well, must be on my way.
Funny, that.
-Oh, Connie. -Hello, James. Is Tristan in?
-Well, isn't he with you? -No, he isn't.
-JAMES: Oh. -He's kept me hanging about for ages.
-Have you any idea where he is? -No.
-Hello, Connie. -Oh, hello, Helen.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ooh, when I get my hands on him... He knew what time we were expected.
You didn't see Tristan leave, did you?
-No. -Mmm.
-Is he still in the house? -I don't know.
-I'll have a look upstairs. -No, James.
If he's there, I have words to say to him in private.
Yes, but...
CONNIE: Tristan! Where are you?
-(CONNIE BANGING) -TRISTAN: In here.
CONNIE: Where?
(CONNIE SHRIEKING)
Connie, I'm sorry. I fell asleep.
Then good night to you, too, Tristan Farnon!
-Inspector Halliday? -HALLIDAY: In here, Mr Herriot.
-I'm sorry I'm late. -HALLIDAY: That's all right.
-What's the trouble? -HALLIDAY: It's a cruelty case.
-My God! -HALLIDAY: Yeah, you look at his back end.
Pressure sores.
Let's have him up on the table, can we, please?
That's better.
Thanks.
Yes, they're gangrenous, as well.
The sternum and ribs are affected.
-How did you find him? -A lady reported it.
She... She heard a whimper and came in to have a look.
It's only a young dog, too.
About a year old, I'd say.
HALLIDAY: I believe he's been chained up in this house
since he was an eight-week-old pup.
Well, I hope, you're really gonna throw the book at whoever did this.
There's not much I can do, unfortunately.
It's a case of diminished responsibility.
The owner's a bit simple, you see. He lives with his aged mother.
All we can do is make sure he never has another animal again.
-JAMES: Yes. -(DOOR OPENS)
-Oh, Mr Herriot, good morning. -JAMES: Hello, Mrs Donovan.
This is the woman who tipped me off, Mr Herriot.
There's not much that goes on that you don't know about, is there, Mrs Donovan?
Poor creature. Breaks the heart to see such suffering.
Well, I suppose you'll have to put the poor thing down, Mr Herriot.
I suppose so. You can never find a home, not in that condition.
Nay, Mr Herriot.
There's naught wrong with him that me own patent nostrums can't put to rights.
Well, the heart's sounds enough.
Aye. He'd be a lovely dog, given a chance.
I'm afraid he won't get that chance, Mrs Donovan.
With no one to look after him, he'll have to be put to sleep.
Nay, Mr Herriot, you can't.
No choice, you see.
Well, unless we can find someone to care for him.
In that condition, well...
Who'd want him?
I do. I can make him better, I know I can.
I don't think you could cope with him, Mrs Donovan.
Not cope? I've been coping with animals since before you were born.
Anyway, I'm not the one to ask, really.
It's the RSPCA. Mr Halliday.
Inspector, you let me have him and I'll soon show you what a healthy dog looks like.
Excuse me, madam. Mr Herriot...
Yes.
I can't just hand over an animal in that condition.
Not on a mere whim, I can't.
I mean, the poor beggar's had one bad break already.
There's nothing to worry about, Inspector.
Mrs Donovan's a funny old stick,
but she's the perfect owner for that dog, believe me.
His name's Roy, Mr Herriot. That's a bit like Rex, isn't it?
Yes, just like Rex. The way it rolls off the tongue.
-Can I have him, then? -I'll get him to the surgery for some attention first.
All right, Mrs Donovan.
Oh, it's gonna be all right, Roy, my pet.
All right. Do you hear?
-Ah, there you are. Now, James... -JAMES: Won't be a moment.
Not going to shift that, are you?
Well, I got it messing about with that dog this morning.
SIEGFRIED: Huh? JAMES: Mmm-hmm.
-Well, I think I've got just the thing for you! -Oh?
Try some of that.
Oh.
-UCM? Universal Cattle Mixture? -Yes.
Yes, it's the universal specific, James. Not just for bovine ailments.
Also cures hangover, insomnia, lumbago, bunions
and clears even the most resistant stains.
Now, go on! Give it a go!
No, James. Come on, just splash it on.
Hmm.
Oh well, don't worry about the fireworks. That's quite normal.
Just let it soak in for a bit.
I hope I know what I'm doing.
Oh, you'll find that'll do the trick, all right.
-Well, I hope so. -Mmm-hmm.
Now, listen, James, I've got a nice little job for you.
Which means I won't like it a bit.
James, James, we cannot have you go through life always thinking the worst.
I just happen to know what your nice little jobs are like, that's all.
-Tell me. -Hmm.
How would you like to spend a few days over at Broughton?
-Broughton? -Yes, poor old Angus Grier's just been on the telephone.
He's had an accident. Been kicked by a cow, fractured his arm.
Siegfried, you know how I feel about Angus Grier.
He just needs someone to be his legs and hands
until his new assistant arrives.
Well, couldn't you or Tris do it?
I've got some very heavy jobs tomorrow and I'll need Tris.
Besides, Grier did specifically ask for you.
Well, I can't think why. The man doesn't even like me.
Oh, nonsense, James. It's just he's got an unfortunate manner, that's all.
Last time I helped him, he made me look like a right chump.
Tricked me into wearing a vile rubber suit.
You can't blame a man just 'cause he's got a sense of humour, James.
He needs our help, you know.
We can't let him down.
All right.
Good man. I'll tell him you'll be there.
Oh, Siegfried?
Yes, James.
Your universal remedy worked.
-Ah. -Look.
No more stains.
(DOOR SLAMS)
-Morning, Mr Grier. -You're late, Herriot.
I'm sorry. I came as early as I could.
I'll tell you this, laddie, and I'll no repeat it.
My staff will be present and ready for duty at 8:00 in the morning.
-Have you got that now? -Well, I mean...
I did have a fair bit to drive, Mr Grier.
If I do have one pet hate, it's young smart alecks always making excuses.
I didn't have to come here today.
Oh, didn't you now?
I suppose you'd prefer to leave a sick man to cope on his own?
Please don't twist my meaning.
I can read you like a book, laddie.
Whatever you say, Mr Grier.
And another thing, that's a terrible pair of breeches you are wearing.
-What's wrong with them? -Wrong? Just look at them.
I can't abide them at all.
-Well, they are just my working trousers. -Working trousers, is it?
Well, I'll no have members of my staff looking like down-and-out hunger marchers!
Sorry.
And as for that mac...
Looks like the leftovers from a moths' banquet.
Oh, the holes.
No fit to be worn by a veterinary surgeon, is it?
I'm sorry if it offends you, Mr Grier.
You're representing me now, Herriot!
I'll not have you giving my practice a bad name.
I think I should be getting down to some work, don't you, Mr Grier?
Aye.
Just as well.
Now, here's your visits for this morning.
-Thank you. -First, Adamson of Grenton.
He's got a sick calf that's feeling a bit chesty.
-Have you seen it? -Aye.
It's no but a stubborn chill. Just drop off another bottle of chest mixture.
And don't hang about.
And you've checked for other signs of infection?
Don't try and teach me my job, Herriot!
Just you do as I say and we'll get on fine.
Now off with you, laddie.
New to the job, are you?
Yes, but I'm learning fast, Mr Adamson.
Oh, don't worry, lad.
I believe in new blood and new ideas.
The old ways have stood too long.
I'm worried about her, Mr Herriot.
Her chest doesn't seem to be getting any better.
How long has she been like this, Mr Adamson?
Over a week now.
Well, it can't be all that serious.
I'll give you another bottle of that chest mixture.
-It doesn't seem to be doing her much good. -(COUGHS)
JAMES: Oh, I'm sure she'll soon pick up.
Oh, well, you're the veterinary.
-Is that you, Herriot? -JAMES: Yes, Mr Grier.
You're late.
Well, it was a pretty hefty list to get through.
If you cannae get back in time for supper, you do without, lad.
Sorry.
Aye. We're no running a hotel here, you know.
-How did you get on? -Oh, no problems.
Oh, just one thing. Um, Mr Adamson's stirk.
What about it?
Well, are you sure it's just a simple chest cold?
I told you my opinion on that, Herriot!
Yes, well, the congestion's getting worse.
I think we might have a case of husk on our hands.
Oh, you do, do you?
Well, I think it's worth checking for signs of lungworm, yes.
Oh, Mr Know-it-all thinks it might be husk, does he?
Well, I've managed without your help for 35 years.
I think I can carry on without it for a bit yet.
-(COUGHING) -She was coughing bad last night.
Aye, coughing worms, she was.
-Looks like husk, Mr Grier. -Aye, I can see that.
I'd be grateful if you'd see to it yourself this time, Mr Grier.
I don't hold it against you, lad.
I'm sorry, Mr Adamson.
I should have spotted it and done something about it.
Isn't that so, Mr Grier?
MR ADAMSON: Reckon you did your best.
Oh, we'll soon have your beast to rights, Mr Adamson.
All right, Herriot, give the beast an intratracheal injection.
It's a pity we didn't spot it earlier.
Eh, Mr Grier?
Sit down, Herriot. Make yourself comfortable.
Well, we got through the list, didn't we? And...
We got back in time for you
to share a little birthday supper that Mrs Grier's arranged for me.
-Mr Grier... -(PHONE RINGING)
Dinnae refuse, laddie.
She'd be delighted for you to sit down and feast with us.
Phone, Edna!
-(DOOR CLOSES) -After all's said and done, the day went well.
You know quite well what kind of a day it's been.
As long as the customers are satisfied.
Now, you listen to me Mr Grier...
That woman's on the phone again.
MR GRIER: What woman? What...
He knows very well what woman.
Animals. Animals.
Nothing but animals all over the place, day and night.
What woman?
That nice Mrs Mallard.
Always on the phone. Says her dog's got a bone stuck in his throat.
Stuck in his throat.
Where's it all going to end? Bone stuck in his throat, indeed.
Well, yes. These things do happen, Edna, my dear.
What's he going to do about it, I ask myself.
Don't worry, Edna. I'll deal with that.
He can't go there tonight, not with his arm like that practically hanging loose.
-No, of course not. -I said leave it to me, Edna.
No, he can't, not tonight, not on his birthday.
Birthday... (WHIMPERING)
It's all right, Mrs Grier. I'll deal with it.
Very well, Herriot.
He'll make sure she pays him.
Yes. Don't worry, Edna.
And you mark my words,
one of these days that dog of hers will swallow one bone too many.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, you know how the ladies are, Herriot.
Don't quite understand what we have to deal with in the profession.
-You will pop along and see Mrs Mallard. -Hmm.
Her address is on the files.
This has happened to her dog before, I gather.
Aye, you could say that.
-Well, I'll need forceps... -I don't think so, laddie.
No, more likely it'll just be a simple case of pharyngitis.
Pharyngitis? You can't be sure of that, Mr Grier.
Angus.
Take my word on it, laddie.
Just take along the bottle of mixture.
Oh, and if you can't find anything wrong, don't say so.
Got to justify your visit, you see.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Come in! The door's open.
Good evening. Mrs Mallard? My name's Herriot.
Oh, yes?
Can I see the patient now, please?
Patient?
I'm afraid I don't quite understand, Mr...
-Herriot. -Of course.
I see that you're expecting company,
so I suppose we'd better get on with it, haven't we?
On with what, Mr Herriot?
You are the Mrs Mallard who telephoned, aren't you?
Yes. My name is Mallard.
You said that your dog...
Oh. You've come about Wilkie!
A dog with a bone stuck in its throat?
-Mr Grier sent you, is that it? -That's right.
-Ah, yes. Well, sit down, won't you? -Yes, thank you.
Does this mean he's not coming?
I'm afraid not. Mr Grier's had an accident.
-Accident? -Nothing very serious.
A slight fracture of the arm.
Oh, I see!
Well, may I see the dog now, please?
Oh, well, actually, Wilkie's a lot better now.
I think I should take a look at him just to be sure.
I'm sure it's not as serious as I thought.
You can't afford to neglect things like bones stuck in throats,
you know, Mrs Mallard.
So let's get on with it, if you please.
-Very well. -Thank you.
-Wilkie! -(DOG BARKING)
Ah!
Thank you.
-There's a good dog. -Sit.
Well, he seems sprightly enough.
Come on. There's a good dog.
Ah!
There's no sign of a bone, Mrs Mallard.
There's no sign of fever.
I suppose it could be a touch of pharyngitis.
A touch of what, Mr Herriot?
(CLEARS THROAT) Pharyngitis.
You see that inflammation in the throat?
Yes, I think I do see something.
I suppose it could be that he swallowed some irritant or other.
I expect that's what it is.
Yes, what a good thing you came.
Excuse me, Mr Herriot, the supper's boiling over.
I'll leave you a mixture. It'll soon clear it up.
"Darling Angus."
(LAUGHS)
I'm sorry about that, Mr Herriot.
I've left the mixture on the mantelpiece, Mrs Mallard.
Ah, yes, thank you very much.
-So kind of you to come. -Oh...
Well, I'll be off now.
Good night, Mrs Mallard.
Good night, Mr Herriot.
I'll be off back to Darrowby now, Mr Grier.
-A dram? -No thanks.
Oh, well... Thank you, Herriot. Thank you for your help.
Oh, it's always an experience working with you, Mr Grier.
You could have done worse.
By the way, I'd keep an eye on that dog of Mrs Mallard's, you know.
I'm not sure I take your meaning, lad.
Bad pharyngitis.
It looks to me as if it could flare up again at any minute.
Bye now.
-James? -Yes.
-Can you come down here a moment? -Right.
-Mmm. -A visitor for you, darling.
-Who? -You'll see.
Mrs Donovan!
But that's not...
Aye. It's Roy.
-Haven't I done well by him? -Oh, he's magnificent!
Aye, I've brought him on somewhat.
I'd give a fortune to know what's goes into your patent nostrums.
Aye, wouldn't you like to know, Mr Herriot?
Mmm-hmm.
Anyroad, we'll be off now.
I just thought you'd like to see how Roy was.
Only you could have done it, Mrs Donovan.
Aye. reckon you're right at that.
Come on, Roy. Come on, boy.
There's a good boy. Off you come.
Goodbye, Mr Herriot.
-Bye, Mrs Donovan. -Bye... Bye, Mrs Donovan.
Ah, there you are! All hands to the sitting room.
Time for an important announcement.
Oh. Come on.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Right. Are we all present?
Then let us commence.
-Helen, a glass of sherry. -Oh, thank you, Siegfried.
-James... -Thanks.
A celebration, Siegfried?
In a way. Yes, in a way.
-Tristan. -Oh, thank you, Siegfried.
Nothing for you, old girl.
Now...
-I know you're wondering what this is all about. -We are rather.
Well, let's say it's in the nature of a public confession.
Now you're aware that I have, on occasion,
been severely critical of a certain member of this household.
With my infant brother here.
Tristan.
I freely admit that my opinion of him has, from time to time, been exceedingly low.
I've found fault with his work,
his habits, his lack of dedication.
Indeed I had felt that there was much cause for concern
and very little to justify confidence in his attitude.
Well, to be perfectly frank, I was wrong.
What I took to be the symptoms of a deeply incompetent nature
were in fact the first youthful stumblings
towards the very highest standards of excellence.
In short, I'm guilty of a gross error of judgement.
TRISTAN: It's awfully generous of you, Siegfried.
Well, it's the truth, my dear brother.
Some say merit is its own reward,
but I propose to make amends in a more practical form.
Now, Tristan, just as soon as you've
officially qualified, it's my intention...
And I'm sure James here will second it.
To offer you a partnership in the firm.
Agreed and seconded.
Thank you, James.
Well, Tristan, what do you say?
Well, it's awfully kind of you, Siegfried, but...
Oh, come on, no false modesty.
Well, the point is, it'll be some time before I'm able to accept your offer.
I don't quite follow you.
TRISTAN: About the qualifying bit I mean.
It'll take slightly longer than I thought.
Surely, your results are imminent, it's only a formality.
Well, not quite.
You're not making yourself awfully clear.
The thing is I've already had the results, you see.
-When? -Well, the point is
they're not quite what I expected.
(CHUCKLING)
I find this reaction of yours extraordinarily unsettling.
Come on now, what did you get?
Pass, honours, distinction, what?
Good Lord, no.
The whole thing's been a bit of a disaster, really.
Of course, Tristan knows the subject backwards.
Yes, yes, and it's not as if he can't sit them again.
And nerves won't be a problem then, Siegfried. That's what did it, you see.
Nerves, yes. Happens to a lot of brilliant chaps, that.
Stuffed full of knowledge, then the exams come, and they just freeze.
Isn't that so, Siegfried?
-You mean you failed? -It's a temporary setback, Siegfried.
I mean, one summer doesn't make a swallow...
Not as if you're an idiot.
Failed?
-Siegfried. -Steady on, Siegfried.
That's no good. It's useless.
Good for nothing!
By Jove, that was close.
If I hadn't chosen my moment well,
you'd be shovelling what was left of me out of the pig trough.
You are the limit, both of you, the absolute limit.
Did you see the look on his face, though, when I told him?
Now then, Tristan, I've given this matter some little thought.
And I've decided there's no earthly point
of making a song and dance about this trifling setback to your career...
I mean, it would be silly to discourage
the excellent standards you've set for yourself of late.
So you must persist in your Spartan denial of alcohol and tobacco,
and continue your regime of early rising and hard exercise
by mucking out the stables.
And I'd like you to be on hand three nights a week
for emergency night calls.
That'll keep you in from time to time to pursue your studies.
Yes?
-(GASPS) -(CHUCKLING)
Good. Let's drink to that, then.